


you spin me right round, baby (mind the floor)

by kuromantic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Humor, Stupidity, Training Camp, Vomiting, office chair go whoosh and so does kuroo's stomach, spinning chairs, they're absolute idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-07-02
Packaged: 2020-06-02 19:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19447747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuromantic/pseuds/kuromantic
Summary: Bokuto and Kuroo think it's a fantastic idea to play with an unused office chair.Akaashi doesn't, but it's too late to dwell on that.





	you spin me right round, baby (mind the floor)

**Author's Note:**

> this is a tumblr request and it's so damn funny wtf

Unsurprisingly, when Bokuto and Kuroo asks Tsukishima if he wants to place bets on how many minutes Kuroo would last on a spinning chair, they’re turned down with a cold stare and a “No thank you, I’d rather keep my brain cells.” 

It’s an expected answer, but it was worth the shot. It’s the annual summer training camp, which only means one thing for the “Tweedledum and Tweedledee” of the Tokyo schools. 

The likes of Akaashi and Kenma are already sick of their shenanigans, but they’re there to have fun, and that’s what happens. They’ll drag anyone who’s willing into their antics, with no sense of shame. 

During their second year, it was the banana and sprite challenge, which ended with Bokuto spewing into Akaashi’s hoodie and earning a deathly glare. Kuroo had laughed. only to be met with the same fate in the middle of the night. 

“Come on, Bokuto! We need to do this, quick!” 

Kuroo yanks Bokuto’s arm as he dashes to an empty storage room, pulling out an unused office chair. He gives it an experimental swivel, and hops onto it. 

“Push me down the hallway!” Kuroo commands, and Bokuto grabs the chair and pushes with all his might. He dashes with the chair in his hands, and then lets go. “Whooo-hoo!” 

Kuroo screeches, until the chair skids to a halt as he drags his hand across the wall. 

Bokuto pushes the chair into an empty classroom, giggling. “Come on, Kuroo! We gotta film this shit!” He clumsily takes out his phone, setting it onto its side on one of the desks. 

“Alright! We’ll see how long I can last without puking!” 

Kuroo starts to wave to a nonexistent audience, taking a bow before seating himself onto the chair. Bokuto swirls it once to test it out, and pushes a thumbs up. 

“Are you ready, bro?” 

“Always!” 

Kuroo spreads his limbs out, as Bokuto prepares to spin him around. “All right, prepare yourself! Bokuto Koutarou will not hesitate!” 

Bokuto grips the backrest and twists with all his might, sending Kuroo spinning. It doesn’t look fast from his perspective, but Kuroo feels like he’s sitting on a giant teacup machine. 

“Whoa, Bokuto! This is fun!” Kuroo giggles. “Spin it faster! Faster!” 

Bokuto obliges with a flourish, laughing maniacally while letting his toned arms do the work. Kuroo kicks off the ground as well, almost bumping Bokuto’s shin in the process. 

“I don’t feel sick at all! Shit, this is the best!” Kuroo adds additional momentum himself, swivelling until everything becomes a blur, even Bokuto’s grinning face. 

Dizziness starts to kick in right after Bouto gives him another big push. “Whoa, my head’s starting to spin now. Don’t stop, Bo, I’m warning ya!” Kuroo chuckles, urging Bokuto to go faster. 

Kuroo goes at it on his own for another three minutes, ignoring the growing ball of dizziness in his head. 

“You good, bro?” Bokuto peers into his face, amusement and concern in his eyes. 

“Never been better.” 

Kuroo spins faster this time, wheels sliding in every direction imaginable. It’s going so fast, he isn’t going to be able to stop, there’s something growing inside his stomach, and-

“Can you guys tone it down a little? Some people are-” 

Akaashi walks into the classroom, and freezes. Bokuto waves at him enthusiastically. “Hey, Akaashi! You wanna go next? Well, you’ll have to wait until I go first!” He glances back at Kuroo, who is still spinning profusely. 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “Bokuto-san, I’d rather not. In fact, I think you shouldn’t do this, either.” 

“Whyyy?!” Bokuto whines, pushing Kuroo’s chair harder. 

Before Akaashi can answer, a guttural belch escapes Kuroo, and a splash of vomit spreads out on the floor. 

“Oh my god, gross! Kuroo, you just barfed all over the floor!” 

The chair has stopped spinning, but not Kuroo’s head. He tips forward and opens his mouth, heaving up a second wave of puke. He presses his palms to his kneecaps, preparing for a third wave. 

Akaashi stares, worryingly motionless. Bokuto doesn’t. Instead, he wheezes and laughs, smacking Kuroo’s back roughly. 

Kuroo wipes his mouth with the back of his mouth, exhaling sharply. “Ugh, that was awful. But totally worth it.” He grins, pushing himself off the chair and dragging it over to Bokuto. 

“We have to clean this up before one of the teachers see.” Bokuto looks around for a bucket and a mop, while Kuroo reaches over to grab his water bottle. “Hey Akaashi, can you help-?” 

But Akaashi doesn’t answer. When Bokuto turns to him, he hears a tiny hiccup come from his mouth. And the pieces connect quickly. 

Oh, oh no. 

Bokuto should have remembered about the time when he threw up on the bus, and Akaashi leapt several rows away from him, covering his eyes. How Akaashi spent the remaining bus ride alone and staring out a window, despite Bokuto insisting that he was fine. 

Akaashi was a sympathy puker. 

“Uh… Akaashi? You okay?” 

Akaashi shakes his head, covering his mouth as another queasy hiccup escapes him. “You guys are... “ he pauses, gagging into his palm. “Unbelievable.” 

Kuroo sticks his lip out. “What’s up with you? It was just a harmless bit of fun. It’s not like you were the one being spinned.” 

Akaashi shakes his head, hand firmly pressed to his mouth. “Go away, Kuroo-san. You’re disgusting.” His voice is muffled, and Bokuto seems to catch on faster than Kuroo. 

“Wait… Akaashi, why are you making those weird sounds?” Bokuto asks. He grabs a trash can and a mop, helping Kuroo to take care of his own mess. 

Akaashi pitches forward with a gag, and Kuroo realises the extent of what’s happening. “Oh,” he whispers, “Akaashi, are you okay?” 

“You guys are both irresponsible… dumbasses. Idiots. Panini heads! Tweedledum and Tweedledee!” Akaashi snaps. 

“This is your fault, Kuroo!” Bokuto accuses him suddenly, his ego bruised from Akaashi’s verbal onslaught. “I hate you! Bleeergh!” He sticks out his tongue childishly. 

Kuroo flips the bird at Bokuto, who them leaps at him to tackle him onto the floor. “Bokuto, you son of a bitch!” He growls, nudging at his ribs. 

Akaashi looks like he’s going to pop a vein. “You guys…” He draws out each syllable, indicating his obvious anger. “I am at my wit’s end. I am not your guardian, and frankly, the crude behaviour you’ve displayed is…” 

He cuts himself off with a wet gag, and only then do Bokuto and Kuroo stop bickering with each other and wrestling on the floor. 

“Uh, Akaashi, what’s up? You’re acting real weird, ya know.” 

“I don’t want to hear that coming from y _ huup! _ ” 

Bokuto blinks, staring at Akaashi in confusion. “What was that? I didn’t catch that. You gotta speak up clearly, Akaashi! Clearly!” 

Akaashi glares at Bokuto, menacingly. For a moment, Bokuto thinks he’s done for. Instead, Akaashi lays out his… anger, all over the floor. He leans forward and vomits, stating his point clearly, all right. 

“Oh my  _ god!  _ Akaashi, oh my god!” 

Bokuto and Kuroo scream in unison, while Akaashi gives another nauseous burp and unloads his stomach onto the ground, again. They have no idea what to do, and Akaashi doesn’t seem to, either. 

“Hey, so… I guess you’re a sympathy puker?” Kuroo asks, and Akaashi responds with a wet hiccup. “I guess that counts as a yes.” 

When Akaashi finishes throwing up, he’s still not done laying it out onto Bokuto and Kuroo. “I’m glad you noticed, Kuroo-san. Maybe next time, you’ll think before you start something stupid and barf on the floor.” 

“Well, right back at ya, Akaashi.” 

Akaashi shuts Kuroo down with a glare, and switches his attention to Bokuto, the only one who hasn’t vomited as a result of their antics. 

“Please make sure to never do something like this, in a place where I can see. Just go and do it in a cave, next time.” 

Bokuto can only manage a hearty laugh. “Don’t worry about it, Akaashi! I’m sure you’ll have a stronger stomach next time!” 

“How about we do the banana and sprite challenge next?” Kuroo pipes in. 

Akaashi rolls his eyes. “Over my dead body.” 

“Does that mean you’re gonna be joining us, too?” 

“Join us, join us!” 

Akaashi rubs his temples, wondering why he’s ever let it come to this. Unfortunately, he’s said the f-word when mentioning them, more than once- ‘friends’. He’s slamming the regret button now, definitely. And when the time comes, he’s going to be wrapped up in their idiotic endeavours again. 

And he hates that he doesn’t exactly hate it. 

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment! or don't, this is written in such a rush and a haze i wouldnt say it's the best lmao


End file.
